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 錢鐘書經(jīng)典美文翻譯詳解:窗
上一條: 談?wù)動(dòng)h詞典中新詞的譯名 下一條: 唐宋詞中詞牌名的英譯

出場(chǎng)人物:申雨平,北京外國(guó)語(yǔ)大學(xué)教授。錢鐘書先生的這篇散文說(shuō)的是窗子,但是其用意絕不僅僅是說(shuō)說(shuō)窗子而已,而是要以窗子來(lái)比喻生活、比喻人生。從語(yǔ)言上看,《窗》延續(xù)了一貫的錢派手法,用詞平實(shí)、普通,沒有長(zhǎng)句,沒有什么復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu),非常從容地?cái)⑹、說(shuō)理,卻又緊緊地扣住了主題。這樣的特點(diǎn)對(duì)翻譯構(gòu)成的難度不言而喻,翻譯中應(yīng)當(dāng)時(shí)時(shí)充分考慮上述特點(diǎn),盡量在譯文中體現(xiàn)出來(lái)。

一逐句分析:

Random Thoughts on the Window

(題目中的這個(gè)窗字,包含的意思較為豐富,使人有多種聯(lián)想,因此譯成Random Thoughts on the Window。)

又是春天 It is spring again

中文是無(wú)主句,英文沒有這樣的句子結(jié)構(gòu),因此用It is...句型。原文里“又”用在句首,但是英文如果也把a(bǔ)gain放在句首,這個(gè)詞就太突出,分量太重了。所以again一詞在譯文中放在句末和原文“又”放在句首分量相當(dāng)。

窗子可以常開了 and the window can be left open as often as one would like

用定冠詞the 加單數(shù)名詞window來(lái)代表所有的窗子。英語(yǔ)里表示“全部”可以有幾種方法:1)復(fù)數(shù)名詞,2)不定冠詞a/an+名詞,3)定冠詞+名詞。這里就是用的第三種,更側(cè)重其一致性。“常開”不能譯成can open often或can be opened often。因?yàn)樵氖菑娜说慕嵌日f(shuō)的,人們什么時(shí)候想開窗都行,所以用了one would like這樣的說(shuō)法。

春天從窗外進(jìn)來(lái) As spring comes in through the windows

這句把春天擬人化了,英文也用同樣的結(jié)構(gòu)就行。窗外:out of the window。但是,如果把“從窗外進(jìn)來(lái)”理解成一個(gè)過(guò)程,用through表示就比較好。

人在屋子里坐不住,就從門里出去 so people--unable to bear staying inside any longer--go outdoors

破折號(hào)之間的形容詞短語(yǔ)說(shuō)明人們?cè)谖堇镒蛔〉脑。bear:忍受,后面既可跟-ing動(dòng)詞,也可跟不定式動(dòng)詞。

不過(guò)屋子外的春天太賤了 The spring outside, however, is much too cheap

這里的“賤”,是說(shuō)春天多陽(yáng)光,以多為賤,中外同理,用cheap也就順理成章了。

到處是陽(yáng)光 for the sun shines on everything

這里和上一句是連接在一起的,所以用了連接詞for來(lái)說(shuō)明原因。最好不要譯成the sunshine is everywhere。因?yàn)殛?yáng)光并不是一種存在,而是說(shuō)照耀在所有的一切上面,因此說(shuō)shines。

不像射破屋里陰深的那樣明亮 and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house

用seem是指屋里屋外陽(yáng)光是一樣的,只是環(huán)境的反差使陽(yáng)光顯得不同罷了。as...as是表示屋里屋外陽(yáng)光的比較。that指the sun。

到處是給太陽(yáng)曬得懶洋洋的風(fēng) Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere

這里加了一個(gè)詞outside,因?yàn)楹竺骜R上要說(shuō)到的“屋里”并不包括在“到處”一詞里;“曬”字英文里與之相當(dāng)?shù)脑~就是shine,但是shine并沒有帶復(fù)合賓語(yǔ)的用法,所以換了一個(gè)角度來(lái)說(shuō)這句話。sun-slothed是一個(gè)復(fù)合詞。

不像攪動(dòng)屋里沉悶的那樣有生氣 but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house

沉悶這個(gè)詞在這里不是形容詞,而是名詞,所以用gloomy加上詞尾-ness構(gòu)成了表示狀態(tài)的名詞。

就是鳥語(yǔ),也似乎瑣碎而單薄,需要屋里的寂靜來(lái)做襯托 Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off

說(shuō)thin and broken而不說(shuō)broken and thin只是因?yàn)檎Z(yǔ)音的關(guān)系,音節(jié)少的詞放在前面,多的放在后面,結(jié)構(gòu)上顯得平穩(wěn),不至于頭重腳輕。只要把這幾個(gè)詞連在一起朗讀一下就可體會(huì)出來(lái)。

我們因此明白,春天是該鑲嵌在窗子里看的,好比畫配了框子 It seems that spring was always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame

“我們因此明白”譯成It seems...,因?yàn)檫@是一種比喻的說(shuō)法,直譯成英文會(huì)給人以突兀的感覺,所以用“似乎如此”的說(shuō)法。be meant to be的意思是“原本為......”,加了always等于從語(yǔ)氣上與原文更相符合,并沒有特別具體的含義。中文說(shuō)“窗子里”,而英文卻不能說(shuō)in a windowpane,windowpane指的是窗子上的玻璃,這就是用behind的原因。

同時(shí),我們悟到,門和窗有不同的意義 At the same time it also becomes clear that the door has a different significance from the window

悟到和上一句中的“明白”是相同的意思,it become clear that 這一說(shuō)法比it seems that 要肯定一些。

當(dāng)然,門是造了讓人出進(jìn)的 Of course, doors were made for people to pass through

出進(jìn)可以譯成to come out and go in,但譯成to pass through就顯得句子緊湊、精煉一些。

但是,窗子有時(shí)也可作為進(jìn)出口用 but a window can also sometimes serve as an entrance or as an exit

entrance和exit這兩個(gè)詞比door和window抽象化了,充分表明了“進(jìn)出口”的字面意思和含義。

譬如小偷或小說(shuō)里私約的情人就喜歡爬窗子 and is used as such by thieves and by lovers in novels

譯文用了by thieves and by lovers,而不說(shuō)by thieves and lovers,因?yàn)檫@本來(lái)就是兩類人,不能放在一起混為一談。

所以窗子和門的根本分別,決不僅是有沒有人進(jìn)來(lái)出去 In fact the fundamental difference between a door and a window has nothing to do with them being either entrances or exits

比較一下different between和前文的different (from):說(shuō)兩者之間的區(qū)別,用different between A and B;而說(shuō)A怎樣不同于B則說(shuō)A is different from B。

若據(jù)賞春一事來(lái)看,我們不妨這樣說(shuō) When it comes to the admiration of spring, it could be put this way

When it comes to是比較中庸的說(shuō)法,不那么正式,但也不那么隨意,意思是“說(shuō)起賞春......”,讓人們對(duì)下文有一個(gè)期待。

有了門,我們可以出去 a door makes it possible for one to go out

“有了門”不能譯成with a/the door,因?yàn)檫@里不是說(shuō)有還是沒有,而是有門存在,人們就可以進(jìn)出房屋。

有了窗,我們可以不必出去 whereas a window makes it possible for one not to have to

Whereas而......。這是一個(gè)連接詞,表示一種前后的比較或?qū)φ。這里的句型和上面是一樣的,但是后面的not to have to 是不定式的否定形式,后面省略了go out。

窗子打通了大自然和人的隔膜 A window helps to pull down the partition between man and nature

“由于有了窗子,人和大自然之間的隔膜才得以打破”,窗子起的是一種促進(jìn)作用,其本身并不能去“打破”什么,因此用了helps to pull down。partition隔離墻!案裟ぁ笔墙馄蕦W(xué)詞匯,這里用的是其引申意義,不能按字面譯成diaphragm,那樣意思就不對(duì)了。man and nature:man是指整個(gè)人類,所以不用任何冠詞;nature則是不可數(shù)名詞。

把風(fēng)和太陽(yáng)逗引進(jìn)來(lái),使屋子里也關(guān)著一部分春天 It leads breezes and sunlight in, and keeps part of the spring in the house

Lead:引導(dǎo),引領(lǐng)。keep...inthe house:使停留在屋里不能外出。

讓我們安坐了享受,無(wú)需再到外面去找 It allows one to sit and enjoy the spring in peace, and makes it unnecessary to go looking for it outside

原文是說(shuō)“安坐”,而實(shí)際上“安”的意思也應(yīng)當(dāng)能涵蓋“享受”,只是從詞的節(jié)奏上感覺“安坐”和“享受”都是兩個(gè)字的詞,似乎是并列的。譯文里譯成了sit...in peace,等于將狀語(yǔ)移了一個(gè)位。注意這句中幾個(gè)it的含義,第一個(gè)it指代window,第二個(gè)it是形式賓語(yǔ),引出后面的to go...,第三個(gè)it是指代the spring。

二全篇通覽

Random Thoughts on the Window

又是春天,窗子可以常開了。春天從窗外進(jìn)來(lái),人在屋子里坐不住,就從門里出去。不過(guò)屋子外的春天太賤了!到處是陽(yáng)光,不像射破屋里陰深的那樣明亮;到處是給太陽(yáng)曬得懶洋洋的風(fēng),不像攪動(dòng)屋里沉悶的那樣有生氣。就是鳥語(yǔ),也似乎瑣碎而單薄,需要屋里的寂靜來(lái)做襯托。我們因此明白,春天是該鑲嵌在窗子里看的,好比畫配了框子。

It is spring again and the window can be left open as often as one would like. As spring comes in through the windows, so people--unable to bear staying inside any longer--go outdoors. The spring outside, however, is much too cheap, for the sun shines on everything, and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house. Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere, but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house. Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off. It seems that spring was always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame.

同時(shí),我們悟到,門和窗有不同的意義。當(dāng)然,門是造了讓人出進(jìn)的。但是,窗子有時(shí)也可作為進(jìn)出口

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